WHERE DID SHE GO? I haven’t seen her in ages. And the last time I saw her, it was through the branches of a Christmas tree. It must have been recently then, but I still can’t remember. I decided though that I wouldn’t chase after her. I am tired of chasing after other people. Like Mr. Ray Davies sang back in 1965, “I’m so tired, tired of waiting, tired of waiting for you.”
But I am still waiting for her and looking for her. Three or five times a day I think I see her going into Viru or coming out of Uku. There’s a hundred Estonian girls who look just like her from behind, but when they turn around, it’s just not her. It just isn’t. Oh, they look fine in their striped shawls and long black coats, and with their dark potato brown hair, but they aren’t her. That shine she has in her eyes, it’s not in theirs. They lack some precious unnamed element.
One time I did see her again, but it was in a dream. She was wearing a yellow dress and a silver crown. I don’t know what those symbols mean. There was fire all around her in the dream, as if she was standing on the sun, or beside a volcano. She looked at me and then that was it. That was the last time I saw her, wearing a silver crown in a dream. I am sure I will see her again, but I am a little worried that if I do, it won’t really be her anymore. Maybe she has changed.
Maybe this too has been a dream.
north! 